Thursday, 22 November 2007

Wet self-portraits and a dead goldfish.




Art for the week - a miserable series of self-portraits
Inspiration - Marlene Dumas and a leaking roof.

I have hit a dry spot - the period in the artist's life that is the hardest to handle. I am irritable with my family, I have no patience, the world seems bleak and uninteresting, everything seems too much effort. I have no desire to paint much less to blog. I get to the door of my studio and I just can't go in - I don't want to confront the mess in there or deal with the issues I should be dealing with. Partly I blame Marlene Dumas for this condition - after seeing her exhibition I find that I have become totally demotivated. The day I saw the exhibition I went and thrashed about in my studio, throwing ink onto the page like she does and all that happened was a mess - then I felt incredibly angry - she is able to produce a powerful work of art in about half an hour whereas it takes me up to 3 months to produce anything vaguely exciting - and that seems forced and amateurish by comparison to hers!
Yes, I know we should not compare ourselves to other artists but really, how can we not be envious of someone who is so famous and for so seemingly little effort? It doesn't seem fair when I go through the pits of hell to produce a painting. Oh well. I know this mood will pass and I will go back to the canvas but I know I will never be as famous as her or my work will never speak so powerfully or eloquently....
Now I've just hit a wet spot - on my living room floor- toe deep in water after this week's awful rain and blizzards.
Cape Town has been TOTALLY MISERABLE this week - gale- force winds, roofs blowing off houses, floods in the Garden Route and in my house - yes the roof is leaking ...AGAIN..... and seemingly no-one wants to fix it for us... I just don't know how to get a roof man/woman/person to come to my house and give me a quote! Oh well - this is Cape Town and nobody wants to do business here -especially if the job involves FIXING things. While I'm on the subject I will have my little rant now about the laxadasical building industry here. You simply CANNOT get a builder to come to your house if he feels the job is too SMALL!! SO those of us with husbands who can't/wont fix things are in deep trouble (pun intended)- we just have to live with the leaking roof or the pissing cistern (I have been living with the former for over 3 years now). The builders will come rushing if you want to put a new roof in (they can smell the dollars 30K's away)but fixing someone else's mistake is either beneath them and/or not worth their while. It all adds grist to my mill that there are no good people left in the world and everyone is out to make a quick buck........enough to want to make you want to drown your sorrows with a stiff one.
No, not that - a drink - oops that reminds me - just to top off this rain-sodden week one of my prize goldfish went and died on me. Yup- dead in the water - like my paintings. I'd better stop this post before I flood the keyboard as well...

1 comment:

The Lone Beader said...

Hmmm.... a self portrait... that may be just the thing you should paint now...

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